the king of brentwood

tom and i used to love watching the king of queens reruns on late night tv...it was always so funny. the jokes were timed perfectly, sometimes so very subtle that it would take a minute to get it. we've tried watching it lately and always end up sharing the look. the "yeah, that's too close to reality" look. and we turn the tv off because our lives now feel like we are in the tv sitcom "the king of brentwood".
......


i understand that my dad is by himself all day long and when we stop by or come home from work, he wants to talk to us. he craves all of our attention and our interaction. mentally, i know it's because he is adjusting to the situation. he was like this when william passed away, he would call me several times a day and not know what to say or just to tell me that he had a great conversation with the mailman. but emotionally, it is so draining.

and then there is the hovering...the hovering is driving me crazy. my kitchen is a brentwood kitchen...the sink is under a window and the stove is 3 steps away. you can stand in the center and reach everything. so, adding 3 hungry kids, 2 playful dogs, and my dad hovering while i'm trying to make dinner after working all day is a bad combination. yesterday was better because i came in, sat down and talked to him for 5 minutes first before starting dinner. sadly, i can't always have that privilege.

he had a follow up appointment with his neurologist on wednesday. there's this awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you don't know what kind of news a doctor is going to give you... and then it's not the best, but not the worst at the same time. i know dad is getting older and i know that the many years of haldol has racked havoc on his body...but it's just so difficult to watch.

the wonderful silver lining to wednesday...a beautiful new little girl joined our family and the boys are so excited about being cousins. i think louie said it best as we pulled up to the hospital that night.
louie: awww! can't you smell it?
mom: smell what?
louie: the cuteness coming from that sweet baby in there!

on a side note, the va home at st. james called yesterday. i didn't even tell dad.
i just declined for him...