forgetful

sometimes i think i forget things on purpose... and other times, i just forget.

i think that is why i've not written in a while; not that i've forgotten to write. it's more that i've forgotten how busy summertime becomes. making sure to squeeze in visits to the library, trips to the grocery store with three hungry children, hours swallowed up by swimming in the pool, and a variety of other things that just appear on my list each day.

and then today, i forgot about the leftover dairy queen ice cream in the freezer, but jack didn't...

as you can tell from the picture, i've also forgotten to water the flowers and pull the weeds... oh well, at least the kid is enjoying his ice cream!

sam decided it was a good idea to try to re-teach louie how to ride his bike without training wheels. sam was trying to be so patient. and louie was so frustrated. possibly because the kid was wearing flip flops...

i think i've got to add re-teaching bike riding skills to my list for this summer too...

we've been so busy with sports and reading this summer that i've forgotten how much sam loves his legos. i love watching how his brain works as he builds.

and then today, i realized something else i forgot...



i was sitting in the waiting room with dad at his doctor's appointment at the mental health clinic at jefferson barracks. the check in questions are always standard, but today for some reason, they bothered me. they always ask him,"are you hearing voices?" and "have you thought about harming yourself?" the second question sent shivers down my spine today because dad took a long pause before answering. and in that split second, i remembered that feeling, that feelling of not knowing his answer.

i know he is upset right now because the doctors are trying to adjust his medications. it's very frustrating. it feels like the doctors don't communicate with each other. and sadly, dad doesn't always speak up when he's the only one in the room. and even worse is that i can't always be there with him...

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.
~Emily Dickinson,

"Time and Eternity"